Death by Ranch Averted by Judo Nurse

They say that when you are pregnant that you can have some weird dreams. I don't know if this is true or not, but Andrea has been on quite a streak lately. Por ejemplo:

She recently dreamed that she was in a room when a monster entered with a group of hooligans trying to capture her and others. This greatly disturbed the wonderful time everyone was having picking up items of the floor with their magnetic faces. She escaped to another room with an exit to the outside. But her would-be capturers cleverly set fire to the only exit, impeding her escape. If you know Andrea, however, you know that she can't be stopped from getting her way. The fire didn't stand a chance. She hurled herself through the flames, tucked and rolled on the ground outside and bounced to her feet.

Outside, she found herself surrounded by bad guys, one of whom she started tussling with. He got the upper hand and pressed an unknown weapon into her temple.

Bad Guy: You know what this is?
Andrea: What?
Bad Guy: It's the one substance that you can't get rid of once it's been in contact with you!
Andrea: What is it?
Bad Guy: Ranch Dressing!

With a quick move Andrea reversed him, snagged the bottle, and squirted the dressing in his face! She tried to escape from her sauced subdoer, but he grabbed her in a headlock. Struggling, she heard a random bystander telling her to flip her assailant over her back. She hearkened to the voice of her sideline sensei and stepped into a Harai Goshi, throwing him over her back, and coincidentally, off a nearby cliff.

Taking only a moment to revel in her hip toss, she realized the man was now screaming that his stomach hurt. "Internal bleeding!", she quickly diagnosed. She clambored down the cliff and started pressing on his abdomen. "Does it hurt here?", she asked, "How about now?". She called 911, then started tending to his broken ankle. Another nearby nurse who was also under attack, took a different route: falling in love with an attacker and making out with him instead of helping out.

It ends with the rest of the bad guys catching up, ending their chase when they realize Andrea is helping their friend and has already called 911, and with the random judo master posting a video of the whole thing to YouTube. Given the immediate nursing care the attacker received, I presume his ankle and stomach injuries healed with time. I'm not sure we can say the same about the ranch stain.